Rambling Thoughts About Suicide

The recent death of Anthony Bourdain has left me shaken. I did not know him personally. I was not even a loyal follower of his show. I knew who he was. I have seen his smiling face for years on the TV, magazines, and Facebook news feeds. He always seemed healthy and happy.

I have since heard that alcoholism may have affected his life in addition to the depression it seems he had. I have no judgement of Anthony or the illness that took his life. I send heart felt love out to his friends, family, and followers who are heartbroken by these events.

I believe in reincarnation. I believe we make a soul contract to come into this physical existence in order to have certain experiences and better understand who we are.  I also believe that, when we commit suicide, we do not fulfill these contract and reincarnate again so that we can complete the journey in a new lifetime with similar circumstances. In my experience, these incarnations happen sooner than what is typical from the previous lifetime. I do not believe that suicide is a way out but more of a reset button.

In many states “Death with Dignity” or “Right to Die” laws have been initiated. This is the legalization of physician assisted suicide for people with terminal illnesses. Because of my spiritual beliefs, I have no moral obligation to these laws. I can certainly see how it is a choice to not have to go through the suffering and withering away, that is a part of many terminal illnesses. I do wonder about the wisdom of choosing to end ones life to avoid the suffering of a terminal illness. Does that mean the rest button is pushed and another life with a terminal illness is queued up? I personally believe that is what happens. Perhaps the next time the incarnation will be in a place or a way that physician assisted suicide will not be an option in order to necessitate going through the experiences. IMG_1780

I also believe that exit points are built into our lives. I have heard there are about 3 exit points that we build into our earthy incarnations. These are points where we can die suddenly if we chose, if the experiences seem too hard. I do not know if these also work like a reset button and cause another incarnation quickly to try again. I suspect that they do.  Ultimately, I do believe in free choice. I do think that we have control and choice about our lifetimes. Even if at times we build “hard contracts” (things we have to experience in our life) into this existence; I believe “we” are the ones who put the hard contracts there.

I have no answers. I only have experiences, beliefs, a sense of inner knowing. I feel if you are finding yourself in a deep dark place. If thoughts of suicide seem to be a way out; please reach out to friends, family, suicide hotlines and professionals. Do not be embarrassed or ashamed. You are special and we need you here. If you have a terminal illness and are contemplating choosing death with dignity. I respect your right to do so. I do not envy you having to make such a choice. Please make the choice that your own, higher self or inner knowing, guides you to make.

Blessing to everyone touched by suicide. I wish for you peace.

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