In my Catholic upbringing I would have never thought the words Sacred and Sex would go together, but indeed they do. The act of joining with another can be among the most sacred acts we experience in this lifetime. There are different schools of thought on Sacred Sex. Tantric is one of the most widely known but there are others as well. No matter if you subscribe to a certain type of sacred sex or just appreciate the sacredness of joining with another, when done right, sacred sex can be an amazing experience.
We are in this world to have a human experience. How better to experience being human than having sex. All the better if you have a partner who is on the same page as you and able to embrace the sacredness in the joining of your bodies. Sacred sex, though, is about so much more than just the sex act. It has to do with touching, eye contact, service to one another, feeling and experiencing.
Stay in the Now – If I had to say the number one most important thing to remember during sacred sex, I would say stay in the present. It is every bit as much about being in the moment as it is about the connection between people. Don’t let your mind wander to what is on your to do list. Focus on what is happening to you at that moment. Notice how your body is feeling, how it is responding to what your partner is doing.
Touch – Massage can be such a beautiful part of sacred sex. It helps to build the anticipation while forming a connection. Deeds of service like massage are a beautiful way to express care and love for one another. Feeling your hands slide over another’s skin, feeling their hands glide over your shape. Using some oil or lotion to reduce the friction, allows palms to slide more easily over your bodies. Don’t neglect areas like hands, feet, ear lobes, and lower legs. It is an incredibly intimate experience to have your hand massaged while your partner is looking deeply into your eyes. Reflexology teaches that there are certain places in the feet that can trigger sexual arousal. Foot massage can be a very sensual act. Too often sexual touch focuses on usual sensual areas of the body, but many of the forgotten spots can be much more arousing that those target zones.
Eye contact – Keeping your eyes open and staying focused on your partners eyes, can be an extremely intimate experience. Whether this is just sitting across the table in a restaurant or while in bed touching one another. The eyes are the windows to the soul, right? Gazing deeply into your partners eyes while feeling what you are feeling and watching what they are feeling is a beautiful part of sacred sex. It helps you connect.
Communication – Tell your partner what you like. Help them know how to touch you. Pay attention to what your partner likes. Notice how and where they like to be touched. As you lay together afterwards talk about the experience. Not just the act but the connection, the depth. Share how you could see the Divine in that person and allow them to share how they found the Divine in you. Talking about your experience also helps you and your partner learn better what you each like and how to improve your sacred sex experience. What worked and what didn’t. What would you like to try next time. What do you want to skip next time. By sharing these things, and not judging one another, your connection will grow ever stronger.
Sex is meant to be enjoyable and fun. Just because you are wanting to have a Divine experience does not mean that the fun, sensuality, or climax should not be a part of it also. Just the contrary. Embrace your humanness and enjoy the release that comes as part of beautiful connection with another.